Mydancewithgod’s Weblog

I live in a house with many floors. This morning I woke up feeling quite sad. Before I came to faith, Sundays would often be filled with melancholy… A day, meant for sharing with loved one’s, but too often, too many of them are too far away…

After I found my way to Jesus, Resting made fuller sense, Joy came from a deeper source.              

So, Sunday’s aren’t melancholic anymore, at least not often. Still this Sunday didn’t start up with the feeling of peace, looking forward to rest or the presence of Joy.

• I had wished for Sun, 
• I had planned for a day out in the nature, 
• I longed for the sharing of thoughts and expectations for the coming week and 
• I was looking forward to sitting at a set table, with loved ones and food.

But what I had, when I woke up, was:

1. a long week of work behind me, work filled with insights and joy, but with 
2. little opportunities to share or talk or listen and only few people that took the extra time to ask me how I was doing… 
3. a grey day, with wet ground and no Sun in sight
4. a family that right now only seem to know how to NOT get along
5. newly found knowledge that NONE of my Sunday-dinner-buddies would be around to share a meal with me. And they hadn’t even told me about this in beforehand. My fellowship was separated for the night, with no prospect of connecting or quietly sharing space with a beloved one close at hand.
6. the feeling that if, my Daddy will invite me over for Sunday dinner, it’ll be much appreciated, but I would have to choose his lovely home and being served too, instead of joining my congregation and serve together…

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Sometimes me and Oswald, don’t really understand each other… most of the time, it seems that I think I understand what he’s saying, but I know that we aren’t exactly having a soul-mate-same-level-connection… other times, I just plainly disagree with him. 

Today, though, we got a real dialogue going! and he gave me an insight, or two.       

This is what Oswald and I talked about: (more…)

“What could be simpler or more obvious than colors? The sky is blue. Fresh grass i s green. Blood is red. The sun and moon are yellow. We see colors as inhering in things. <…> We see color, and yet it is false, as false as another thing we see, the moving sun rising past the edge of the stationary earth. Just as astronomy tells us that the earth moves around the sun, not the sun around a stationary earth, so cognitive science tells us that colors do not exist in the external world. Given the world, our bodies and brains have evolved to create color.” (Lakoff, 1999, p 23)

Or put in another way: even though God didn’t make things have certain colors, GOD gave US the abilities to enjoy this world through colors. I think this is because he knew how much pleasure colors would be able to give us. I believe God wants to wake our abilities to enjoy beauty and through this indirectly become aware of his care for our well-being into the smallest details…

It’s early Easter Friday morning… I’m awake, just like I’ve been every morning during the whole fasting period, way before everyone else and much earlier than I ever though I might get up, without somebody shooting me out of bed or an earthquake waking me up… Yesterday evening we went to church. I think it’s my first ever Maundy Thursday service. Definitely not my last though, I hope…  (more…)

I  noticed I’ve used this word several times lately. SURRENDER. Often I notice it’s way to easy to give in to things…. Mostly, these easy things seem to be stuff I give into, even though if I think of it, I’d rather not. Things like taking the opportunity to tell someone off, if they have a different or “wrong” opinion or deciding that it’s quite OK to one day, make my mind up for not eating bread before Saturday and then still find myself eating bread today, just because it was newly baked and smelled so wonderfully good… Of course there’s nothing wrong in eating bread, it’s just that I notice that my character still isn’t strong enough to hold steady to things I’ve decided upon. Just like it doesn’t have to be wrong to tell someone if they have erred, but I know that the way I decided to tell a person off today, was neither fruitful, nor loving. It was just me (the 5 year old inside of me) that had to have it Her way, just to show, in some weird way, that she can and also in some even more crooked way, that she’s BETTER than, that other person…

 These things don’t exactly make me proud… No, this is very much my confession…    

 There’s so many things in me and so many times during one day, that I not only find myself giving in to lusts or other, egoistic voices inside me, but even keep up the appearance that I really didn’t do anything “wrong” or tell myself so LOUD that it’s FINE, nothing happened, that I almost believe it myself.It makes me genuinely happy though, to know that I can’t fool God. He does know. He even knows those things I’m not ready to face in myself yet… ALL OF IT! And what makes me even more happy, or rather grateful for and feeling a inner sweet peace with, it’s that it’s exactly these all things, that he knew I would go though, that made him SURRENDER… (more…)

• Is it with me like with Jesus, over whom, Mary poured out the expensive and sensuous perfume, so that the whole house was filled with his fragrance…?
• When I enter a house, do I bring with me the aroma of God? (like it say’s in 2 Cor. 2:15)
• What is it that my neighbor would sense about me if I was clothed in the fragrance of Christ or what would he sense form me if I wore the aroma of God? 

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I have many friends. Many people that are Dear to me and that I care about. Every night, before going to bed or early in the morning, before rising from bed, I do my best to remember them. I send them warm thoughts, good wishes, strength, wisdom and courage to wake up into yet another adventure, a new day, filled with possibilities… Or being able to let go and leave things no longer needed…  I prefer to call this a prayer. Wishing for their happiness, well-being and formation into what they are meant to be. Praying that God will take care of them, carry them if needed, surrounding them with love and presence or just holding a protecting hand under them.    All those things I would wish to do, but know I can’t…. This is why I like to pray, it’s like a dialogue with God, where I tell him those things that I’ve been carrying, all the people I’ve met under the day and those I haven’t even had time to think about… I give them all over to him, here they are, I surrender, Do your “Thing”, May your Will be done…    (more…)

Some may call it co-incidence, others call it irony of life… To me it’s often sensed like small pokes in the side… like reminders on the phone, without a phone, with just a direct link to God. Like a smiley in the end of the day or other times I can just hear him giggle with me…

Today I entered a café filled with the sent of newly baked pastries and coffee. I just craved to have a piece of something sweet and jummy… Sitting down I then commented to my friend that most of the time is even pleasant to participate in the Fasting for the preparation of Easter, while other day’s, like today, I would just do almost anything for a small bite of chocolate! Mmm…. or a sip of a warm Latte…

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“It is the body’s capacity to learn and remember movements which makes dancing possible to perform as a structured choreography. After rehearsing a choreography, the dancer can only trust the body will remember movements in the performance situation without the mind’s reflection. <…> The choreography, to be danced and lived through movements, emerges from the body without any special reflection in the mind.”    

Jaana Parviainen Say’s this with the help of Casey.  And that is what I wish, that my path here in life will be so close to God, that he will be my supreme choreographer and I will know him so well that I don’t even have to reflect on everyday actions, but they will follow his will and wishes for me. I truly believe this is the only way to find happiness and peace and Life as it was supposed to be lived….

Inspired by the Podcast by John Eldredge on Walking with God I decided that I will give stories and the telling of even my own story a new chance. I hope that the stories I will publish will not only help me clear my thoughts but also keep track of and follow the paths God is taking me more clearly. 

Finally I wish them to be inspiration for You. So that you also may feel encouraged to go out seeking the “Love affair of a Lifetime”. It’s worth it and it’s just lovely, even though it’s not always “easy” or “pleasant”…