Mydancewithgod’s Weblog

Holy darkness, Blessed night,
Heaven’s answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
We embrace your holy night.

We are in the middle of Little Lent or Advent, which is a time of waiting. Henri J.M. Nouwen writes:

To wait open-endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life. It is trusting that something will happen to us that is far beyond our own imaginings. It is to live in the conviction that God moulds us according to God’s love and not according to our fear.

 

nor according to our judgement or pride, either. Thank God for that!

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I believe I would never have Come into Unity, with my Beloved, nor with the wonderous mystery of the Body of Christ, had it not been for the devoted, passionate and loving friends I have journeyed with during the last 4 years.

My Dear brothers and sisters in faith, 

I hope you know, it is not because you are extraordinary – even though you have glimpses of that in you.

I hope you know, it is not because you are perfect, but when you are true to your imperfection.

I hope you know, it is not because you are capable of unconditional love, but when the love poured out on You reflects into your care and dreams and willingness to extend Love unknown to human merit.

I hope you know, it is not because of your brilliance, but when you offer your humor and skillful endeavors to encourage spirits, that I am blown away.

I hope you know, it is not because you courageously uphold the Truth in every situation, but when your heart reveals a steadfast commitment to my well being, that I am released, time after time. 

I hope you know, it is not because sharing Life with you is smooth, sweet and always beautiful, but the fact that we can stand together, side by side, watching our journey from the everlasting perspective, where none of us is judge or excelling the other, we were not alone. And this takes all the pain away.

 Ultimately our stronghold lies in the ability to remind each other that

In Friendship are joined honor and charm, truth and joy, sweetness and good-will, affection and action.

and All these take their beginning in our Beloved, advance through the Beloved uniting us and is perfected in The Beloved, healing us.

(Aelred of Rievaulx)

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If there is a War to be fought, it’s battlefield is my Mind

and the frontier; my thoughts and feelings about myself in relationship with others.

I remember the days when everything there was, was a Mind, thinking she was brilliant and in ultimate control. My Mind, dragging along a body, she imagined was there only to make her elevated and letting her experience the small pains and pleasures of physicality, soon to be abolished by Her pure intellect. In these days there was a shrewd and constant struggle between my feelings and reason. One trying to tell the other off and determine whom was more righteous to make judgement over the rest.   

I am also reminded of the first time I was told I could tell her to “Shut up”! The thrill going through my body when first playing with the sensation of having just one single moment of Silence; true silence, where NO thought, unasked for, would be able to push its opinions or insinuations upon the moment of “Here and Now”; the experience of a true I AM.

Together with these, are the numerous moments I have learnt to cherish, when my Mind finally has understood she has the right to vacations. She is much appreciated and greatly needed, but just like her piece; feeling and reason, none where meant to dominate and pass ruling, on their own. Locating my Mind as the Head of the Body, is to miss whom and what has the authority to be the Savior.

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Oh, how wonderful, are those moments when I really do sense that I am Dancing Through Life. 

Those days, hours and minutes when I am fully aware, that my beloved has “Hemmed me in, behind and before”, he surrounds me and I may just dwell in that loving presence wherever I turn my steps. In those moments, it does not really matter, if I am sad or happy, exhausted or thrilled, longing or content…. Wherever I am and whatever I feel, what matters is that

He is moving right there along with me,

He is breathing life into me

and I can experience the Joy of Movement.

Movement of my breath, the blood in my venes, pulse of my heart, touch of my skin, wiggle of my toes, caress of my hands, circle of my hips, stretch of my arms, leap in my legs, nod of my head, taste in my mouth, bow of my core, bend in my knee and smell of the freshness of the earth.

How Fearfully and Wonderfully I am made

 

With ALL of that, I want to Love you back, Dance in a Holy Worship, offer myself into Your Arms,

and This is the way I forever want to move, the way I always want to live my life!

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