He comes dressed in rags

He lives with the homeless, knows the prostitutes

sleeps with the drunkard

and

donates all the finances to the needy.

He questions my money & my status

lies in my sofa

and 

takes food from my fridge

Asking why and how come I think it is MINE!?

He’s been put in prison for his thoughts,

judged as an out-cast in media

and

talked bad about by every level of society – including You and Me at our coffee-tables

He’s here to proclaim a kingdom

and

wants to set us free -

WHY DO I FEEL SO BAD & HOPELESSLY FRUSTRATED IN LOVING?

In my mind I wish he would go away, that he would stop harassing me with his questions and statements – all to complicated for me to answer. Partly touching on sore spots, partly asking me to observe my own life, yet all without Care and fully without concern for anything else then his own mind.

In my heart I wish he would turn his ways, that he would see the Light and serve the True Kingdom – but who am I to throw back his own intolerance into the relationship? How can a man be touched, who doesn’t want to be led by anybody? How can a boy be loved that has a too big of a whole in his Self for any human to fill? 

Can Christ-likeness really be measured? Did he “win the game” cause his list of merits is longer then mine? Can I say he’s lacking in Love, when I don’t know myself how to love him well? When and how do I put up boarders for hemming him into the fold of right and wrong, when I don’t really want to have him that close at all…

When the rest of the World has failed him, who will be there to stand up for this one lost sheep? When, if ever, does God finally give us the freedom to just go ahead and follow our own stubborn minds, even when that might take people we care for, straight into their minds own Hell? And do I really care for His well being, or do I just want to get rid of the agony of seeing my own imperfection ?

- unable to accept that I have to let him Go and continue to show him the consequences of his own actions, so that THE TRUTH really can set us free – both me and this brother in rags.